I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
