I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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