How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
