i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
