We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize