Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
