I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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