Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
