So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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