so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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