i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
