First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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