also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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