It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
