spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
