Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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