he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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