So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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