he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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