turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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