i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
