You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
