isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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