Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
