Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
