even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
