Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
