you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
