This is not my ceiling
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Randomize