Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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