This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize