i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
