I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
