He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so let's talk penis.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
