A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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