my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
false alarm, still single
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
