Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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