there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize