gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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