Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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