i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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