It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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