I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
