If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
