She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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