We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sorry about my life...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
