Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'd cum for enchiladas.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
