is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
