i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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