I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
