she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
