the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
