i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize