I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
