Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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