I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
