dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
