So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think people are normalizing furries
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
