my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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