Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
